Jun 292012
 
As Colorado burns; Syria erupts into a real war; Big Ben gets a sex change and Condi won't jog with Mitt let alone run with him, there is one bright spot in this world gone mad - Xiaflex.  Leave it to the pharmaceutical companies to steal the headlines, on their quest to straighten out all the curved penises throughout America. The affliction known as Peyronie's disease, I believe named after Eva (the first lady of Argentina) for "her reputed skill in fellatio", affects about 5% of the male population in the U.S.  After exhausting (two) clinical trials, Auxilium Pharmaceuticals says its drug, Xiaflex, reduced curvature from 48 degrees to 31 degrees after a year of treatment in one of them.  Which begs the question, "what happened to the 'members' in the other one?"  Obviously there aren't any side effects since that's what the drug is supposed to get rid of.  If you're one of the lucky ones whose penis is only bent 17 degrees and you start taking the proven drug today, by June of next year you can start dating women with perfectly straight vaginas. Side note:  The directions for using Xiaflex:  Users have to inject the penis up to eight times over several months, endure pain and swelling, and let a doctor break up penis plaque by hand.  I think if I were a guy I'd rather have the usual drug side effects including the possibility of death rather than put a needle anywhere near my privates. So what is Peyronie's disease and what does it look like?  Peyronie's disease has been called an exaggeration of the wound healing process, during which one or more flat and irregular non-cancerous plaques or fibrous scars develop under the skin along the penile shaft.  Not only do these scars frequently cause pain during erection, but depending on the number, size and location of scar tissue, the penis can be slightly to severely distorted or shortened during erection or not at all. And just what does PD look like?  CAUTION!  BEFORE PROCEEDING, PLEASE REMOVE ANY SMALL CHILDREN, PRIESTS AND LESBIANS FROM THE ROOM AND MAKE SURE YOU'RE EITHER SITTING ON THE FLOOR OR STRAPPED TIGHTLY ON A CHAIR.  ***a link to the PD website where these photos were taken will be provided at the end of this blog***  

A penis handler performs CPR on the loser of a cockfight

 

This doesn't even make a good towel rack

Drum Roll Please!

   

The penis where no one can be on top

  To find out more on this crippling disease please click here and wind your way through a website devoted to this scoliosis of the penis.  It is a comprehensive site that offers treatments, a 'hand'book and lots more pictures. Watch out for those pop-up photos! Authors note:  "My intent with this blog is not to poke fun at this obviously painful disease but to once again point out that pharmaceutical companies are throwing together drugs with little regard to results or future side effects."
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  3 Responses to “Watch Out for That Curve!…(in your penis)”

  1. You had waaayyyyy too much fun writing this last blog. Now I know why you said you were on your knees in research!

  2. Actually, I think I said I couldn’t write with my handsfull…

  3. Well, I can see some of these curves are not completely bad news… Surely?

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